First Base Felony
by dietcocacola101
Summary: Mickey gets kicked off his Little League baseball team.


A warm May afternoon and a cool breeze greets the Chicago White Socks little league baseball team, but nothing can calm the storm brewing in nine-year-old Mickey Milkovich. He stews angrily in the dugout while his pussydick coach talks to them about sportsmanship and he is sandwiched between two pipsqueaks with bright eyes and uniforms that are still white. His own White Socks jersey has accumulated rips and smells and stains from when both his older brothers wore it.

Mickey's daddy is a strong believer in the hand-me-down system, which means Mickey is a strong believer in it, too, so he doesn't complain. But, unbeknownst to Mickey, this is because Terry prefers spending money on guns and crack than new clothes for his children. Mickey thinks it's 'cause he's street smart.

He is pissed off today because his last season on this baseball team is almost over and he has yet to do anything impressive. He isn't asking for a homerun hit out of the park or anything, just something to tell his dad about at the end of the day. One time a few years ago, Terry had wandered into Iggy's baseball game and saw him hit a foul ball. It didn't count, but Terry went nuts cheering when Iggy made contact with the ball, and got kicked out. It was so _cool_.

All Mickey wants is something like that to happen to him. Now, Terry has never attended any of Mickey's games on account of being too busy, but Mickey's mother is in the crowd with a video camera (per her son's request) to document anything cool. Except nothing cool ever _does_ happen because he sucks.

"Okay, team," Coach Pussydick says and claps his hands together. "Are you ready to go have some fun?"

The other boys cheer and rush onto the field, and Mickey does a slow swagger after them. He sneaks a peek into the crowd and brightens a little when he sees his mom and younger sister Mandy. The mother-daughter pair are the spitting image of each other and are currently too busy sharing a hot dog to catch Mickey's eye. He cuts his eyes away, and lets his hand fly up to his hair as if to say "_psych_" every time he is supposed to shake an opposing teammate's hand. He can feel Coach Pussydick's glowering eyes on him.

Mickey kicks around dirt as he stands waiting for his turn to bat and begins to purposely dirty his teammates' pants and scuff their shoes. They all keep their heads down and he feels a surge of pride – _no one_ dares to cross a Milkovich. His good mood quickly sours, however, when he goes up to bat and strikes out as he's done all season.

He throws down his bat in a huff and shoves past his teammates to get to the dugout. Nearly in tears, he practically snarls at anyone who glances his way. This time, Mickey is too consumed in his anger to notice his coach's eyes back on him again, but they're there. Mickey would not be surprised to find his coach is smiling at his misfortune because he is convinced his coach hates him and he's actually right. Coach Puckernip has harbored a deep hatred for all things Milkovich ever since Colin stepped foot on his baseball field, yet has always been too intimidated by their father to speak up. This year he has the worst Milkovich yet and it's satisfying to watch him fail.

In the dugout, Mickey is blinking away tears that he will hate himself for if he dares let fall. After his meltdown subsides, he suddenly feels shame and paces the length of the dugout as he tries to place the reason for it. This feels different than his usual no-hitter shame, deeper somehow.

Mickey can somehow feel the smugness radiating from his coach, can sense the embarrassment his teammates feel for him. Anger flares up. Daddy wouldn't take this kind of treatment, Daddy would show them how a Milkovich does it, Daddy–

–_isn't ever going to come to one of my games._

The thought pops up out of nowhere and Mickey's disappointment rejuvenates him. He marches out of the dugout with his head held high and rejoins his team. If he's never going to score and his dad won't ever watch him play…why not have some fun?

His next time up to bat, after a spectacularly bad swing, he lets the bat fly. The wooden stick jumps from his hands and whirls into the outfield, causing the other team to shriek and dive for cover. Mickey shoots a grin at his outraged coach as he saunters back to the dugout.

"Oops," he says. Coach Pussydick fumes silently.

He leans against the fence with the other boys and moons the parents through the chain. There are shouts of outrage, his own mother included, but Mickey can hear his little sister shriek with laughter and his determination strengthens.

Later, he hocks loogies at boys who sprint towards him on first base and manages to get three players of the other team declared out because they refused to get too close to him. The umpire, urged by Coach Pussydick, gives Mickey one last warning before he is thrown off the field. Mickey salutes in acknowledgment and flips them the bird as soon as their backs are turned.

The Milkoviches have gained a reputation of being criminals, dangerous and vicious, but not until today do they start to be thought of as physically dirty, depraved, and crude. Mickey is doing so unintentionally–in his mind, these pranks are harmless and funny. Brought forth by lots of rage, yes, but Mickey has always been motivated by anger and will continue to be for years to come. But not forever.

Mickey's mama leaves the ballgame to send a message to her son about his behavior, dragging an insolent Mandy who wants to see more of her brother's funny stuff. Mickey doesn't notice, as he is too busy belching in the other team's faces as they walk by.

He soon learns that his butter finger incident has gotten him banned from batting. The other players (from both teams) are staring at him now, the usual fear and disgust overshadowed by something else: interest. What will he do next?

He calmly walks to his position on first base when the teams switch and he can feel everyone eyeing him closely. He lets a few players round his base without doing a damn thing to them, feeling smug and satisfied enough to let the rest of the game pass without incident.

That is, until he hears familiar whooping and hollering behind him. Mickey turns and sees his older brothers, Colin and Iggy, pressing their dirty faces against the chain link face.

"Mickey! _MICKEY!"_

"Mandy said you were messing with Coach Bust-A-Nut!"

Glowing from the type of praise he wanted from his father, Mickey unzips his pants as #12 from the other team hits the ball and starts to run for first. He can see the boy's mouth drop open in surprise as he skids to a stop right before he can touch the base that Mickey is urinating on.

"Ew, _gross_!" the boy wails as Coach Pussydick charges towards Mickey to throw him off the field.

Mickey leaves in a good mood, though, with Colin and Iggy's laughter ringing in his ears, along with the stifled giggles of the redheaded pipsqueak on second base.


End file.
